Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Child of the 80's, Mother of today.

Before I became a mom, I didn't give much thought to what my daughter would watch on television. Being the wanna-be crunchy mom that I am, I didn't think my child would watch any more than 2 hours of television a day (if that), and those shows would be strictly educational, so that she could be fluent in Spanish and know calculus all by the time she was two years old.
That didn't happen.
I thank the heavens for tv. TV has saved my sanity.

My daughter loves Dora the Explorer; Go, Diego Go; Ni Hao Kai Lan, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and many other shows catered toward pre-schoolers on Nick Jr. and The Disney Channel. (I should totally be paid for those plugs!) However, as I flip through the cable guide, and through the channels, I can do nothing but sigh heavily and sadly, and shake my head at the shows that are on now.

I grew up in the 80's. Go ahead, make fun of the clothes, make fun of the music, make fun of the dances; but don't you dare make fun of the kids shows I had the pleasure of watching. You wanna know why I am the way I am (and I'm pretty damn awesome), look at the shows I watched as a kid, and what they taught me.

This is David. He's a gnome, from The World of David the Gnome. "Look around you, there are many things to see, that some would say could never be. These things I know, it's true and I will tell you so, they are there to see, if you believe. Trolls and wizards, and fairy kings, birds that fly and fish that sing, and if your heart is true, then you will find them too. In every wish and dream and happy home, you will find a kingdom of the Gnomes."
Those are the words to the theme song, which I know by heart, and haven't forgotten for over 20 years. David and his wife Lisa live in a hole at the bottom of a tree, I believe they had one daughter. They also had two pet mice that were about the same size as they were. They were tiny (the gnomes, not the mice). David was a doctor, helping many animals and some people. He preferred natural medicine, including acupuncture and hypnosis. David could speak to animals. His best friend was a fox named swift, who he often rode on the back of to take him to different patients. David was my hero. I strongly believe that helped spark and nurture my love for animals. I'll be 29 next month. Do I believe that maybe, just maybe in an obscure hole somewhere hidden in my house, there might live a pair of noble gnomes? You bet I do. And I think that makes me a better person. :o)

These are Carebears. Not just any kind of bear, they are bears who care, A LOT! As a matter of fact, they live upon fluffly clouds in a place called Care-a-Lot. You know what they taught kids?...That's right, they taught them to care. They taught empathy and sympathy. They taught us to overcome evil and nasty thoughts and feelings, to open your heart and care. To this day, when I see anyone who just wants to be bad because they feel bad, maybe because they thought no one cared for them, I just wanna do a Care-bear stare. In 2007 they tried to reintroduce the Carebears to this new generation, with "improved" (I'm guessing that was the goal) computer generated animation. You know can revive the old and originals by reintroducing the old and originals. ::sad face::

Ahhh, The Smurfs, the original blue man group! These playful little creatures lived happy lives in mushroom houses in a forest of some sort, eating sarsaparilla and smurf berries. The leader of their people was the wise Papa Smurf, who taught us to work together and use our individual talents for good. No one can remember the Smurfs and not smile. Unless you are evil. :o)
(For Smurf enthusiasts: Did you know that the creation of the Smurfs actually predate the 80's? They actually originate from Belgium as a comic book series in 1958. And, did you know *or remember* that Smurfette was not a true Smurf, but created by Gargamel out of clay? There's your trivia for today.)

Hmmm...let's skip that one. :o)

And just so you guys don't think I only watched girly cartoons:
He-Man!! "I have the power!!!" OK, what did I learn from He-Man? I learned that I wanted a bad-ass sword and a big tiger that I could ride! Aside from that, like most of the cartoons of this era, it taught to do good, to be good above all, and to conquer over evil. He-man also taught me that you had to overlook an otherwise kinda queer looking fellow, because beneath it all, he could be He-Man! :o)

This is Prince Adam, before he invokes the "Power of Grayskull" and becomes He-man. :o) Yeah, bet you didn't remember that, huh!?

I also loved He-Man's twin sister, (role model for kick-ass girls everywhere!) She-Ra, Princess of Power! And I wanted her rainbow-winged steed, Spirit, as well. :o) She-Ra was pretty important since the majority of "heroes" out there were boys. There were some kick-ass girls like myself out there, and She-Ra put us on the same level as the boys. :o) Thanks, She-Ra! "For the Honor of Grayskull!"

The 30-something year old scientists of today can probably attribute some of their interest in the sciences to Don Herbert, Mister Wizard! Even the kids that didn't like science class liked this show. Where is the Mr. Wizard of today? Yes, as I got older they had Bill Nye the Science Guy and Beakman's World...but where are those shows for our children?

Remember Levar Burton?


No, no, not that Levar Burton! (If you have never seen the movie "Roots", then shame on you!)


No, not that one either! (Although I know this one well. My mom is a trekker. Not a trekkie. The fact that I know the difference between the two should tell you something.)

But, I digress, here, this Levar!:

Reading Rainbow, encourager of literacy in children around the globe. This guy made you want to go to the library, you wanted to check books out, you wanted to read! I can remember getting my first library card (kinda..not really, but go with me on this!), and I remember absolutely loving to go to the library and check out my very own books. I loved seeing the books on the show and then checking them out myself. I loved reading then, and I love reading now. And whattaknow, I'm a writer too. :o) I know they have shows now to encourage a love for words and reading, but nothing beats Reading Rainbow! And you don't have to take my word for it!
Aw hell, c'mon, let's all sing the song, you know you want to!
"Butterfly in the sky I can go twice as high, take a look, it's in a book, a reading rainbow! I can go anywhere!
Friends to know and ways to grow, a reading rainbow! I can be anything! Take a look, it's in a book, a reading rainbow, A Reading Rainbow."

^These are some of the things I grew up with.^

WTH are these!?

A sponge. Some weird-ass looking kids. And some very annoying, only semi-talented dorks...I mean, actors.
I'm not saying that all the shows kids have today are horrible. I think there are some great shows out there, but there's something lacking in our children, that I believe, has to do with what they're exposed to on tv. I mean, even if your child is only allowed to watch the Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, or PBS even, the shows just aren't the same. Hannah Montana & The Suite Life have made our children sarcastic and disrespectful toward their parents. Have you seen how those kids talk to adults? Or worse yet, how the adults talk to the children? If I grew up with, and emulated these shows, I would have had a stutter in my adult years from all the hits I'd have taken to the mouth. These other shows with the weird lookin' their purpose to show us the effects of taking (or not taking) Ritalin? I don't know.

Sure, I grew up with cartoons that were undoubtedly created by the potheads of the late 60's and early 70's. However, what did they preach? Love, caring, empathy, heroism, friendship, kindness, confidence, sympathy, peace, environmental awareness, happiness. Maybe some of the current shows have the same values, but the execution is all wrong.

Bring back the good ol' days.

I don't think anyone watched Widget the World Watcher, except me. :o)

Anyone remember "Today's Special"? I loved this show!

I was totally Leonardo! :o) Sometimes I was Donatello.

Had to have Nickelodeon to know Maya the Bee. :o)

These are some of the shows of my day.
There were ducks that helped us learn the Dewey Decimal System. There was a young blond-haired boy who taught us to be mischievous, but not too much so. (Actually, I remember the very old live action, black & white Dennis the Menace show. It was one of my favorites.) I too, was a bit mischievous. There were puppets and muppets, and giant elephants that taught us the "Skinnamarink" song. There were loving, adventurous bears who made every kid want to taste Gummi juice. There were pizza-eating, butt-kicking turtles who learned about the great artists of old from their mighty rat sensei. There were a lot of mischievous cats, and entertaining dogs. There was a man who made us want all kinds of cool gadgets. There was a boy, and his dog. (OK, I know Lassie was not made in the 80's, but I watched that show faithfully, every morning at 6am before heading off to Kindergarten. I learned a lot from Lassie, and Timmy. There will always be a special place in my heart for collies.) There were awesome robots that transformed, protecting our planet from evil forces. There were people who were cats, or maybe they were cats who were people. There was a little girl who made you want strawberries every time you saw her. (I loved the books as a kid!) There were mice and chipmunks out to rescue. There was a little girl who made short skirts and rainbows so very cool. (I totally had one of those plush sprites, and loved the thing!) There were koalas, and bunnies, and penguin, and bees. There were men in tight pants who urged you to sing.
I look back on them and I smile. A lot of parents have a great wish to give and share with their children the things they never had. That's one of my goals. However, we must also give and share in the things that we did have. The things that made us happy and made us smile as children will likely make our own children smile.

What were some of your favorite shows, and how did they affect you?

Up the ante!

I couldn't think of a better title for this post. :o)

I have 7 followers, maybe 3 of them actually read this blog, maybe 1 of them actually comment. Nicht gut!

Give me some things to write about. I need some inspiration! It can be anything!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tsk. Tsk.

What a horrible blogger I am. It's been since October '10 since my last post.

I don't think I lack things to talk about, or write about, but I think I've been less than creative lately. And quite frankly, if I discussed the things that were really on my mind, this blog would be kind of a downer. And that is not its intent. What is the intention of this blog? Hell if I know, but it's not to be a dark cloud. An outlet for my amusing ramblings, art, ideas, useless information and observations, yes, I think so.

So, guess what...?
OK, I'll tell ya. To my surprise (not really), there's already a book out there called "The Husband Handbook"! So...any ideas on a new title? Please, share, 'cause I'm drawing a blank. And about "The Handbook", as I'll now refer to it, I've been coming up with nothing to add to it. My ideas just aren't flowing like they used to, and I deeply regret not writing down the ideas in regards to this little book. Actually, I think I did write them down, but I haven't the slightest idea where those scribbles might be.
So, while you're thinking up alternative titles, give me some ideas, OK? What are some "issues" concerning men, women, and marriage that you might want me to write about? What cute or confusing observations have you made? Do share. :o)

Whilst I was working on the aforementioned book with no title, I thought about a similar script for wives. So, I jotted down a few things, and I'll share those now, because I have nothing else to do.

Warning: The following is intended for entertainment purposes only. (Meh.) If you are easily offended or otherwise just very sensitive to the battles between the sexes, or have no sense of humor, you should not continue reading. I make no apologies for the ridiculousness that swirls around in my head.
Yes, I might be somewhat of a feminist.
Yes, I like men, especially Viggo Mortensen and David Gandy. Especially when David Gandy is wearing as little clothes as possible...mmmmmm...shit, I just drooled on the keyboard.
Yes, I'm a little bit of a lesbian. Just a little, like 60%. Maybe 75.

The Wife Pamphlet
Companion to Chapter One

Dear Lovely Ladies, Wonderful Wives (or those achieving excellence), in all fairness I cannot write "The Husband Handbook", and not take a look in the mirror at my own reflection as a wife. So, for us, I have decided to write The Wife Pamphlet. (To understand his wife, surely a man would have to read a book! For us, a pamphlet will do.) :o) Just as our husbands have committed to a life-long partnership and we have high expectations of them, we should have high expectations of ourselves, as wives, mothers, and women.
I would say our husbands don't have as many expectations on us (as we do them) because they have (in their hearts and minds) married their perfect mate. This thought makes me smile every time I think it, because I truly believe it to be true when men marry for love. (Keep in mind that not ALL men marry for love. You come up with whatever other reasons your imagination can muster. And some men simply think they've found love, only to realize it's something else entirely. A fail-proof test of true love is in how much a man wants/or would want, his wife to change. But this is a whole other subject entirely, one I do plan to write about, eventually). A friend of mine wrote, within the contents of her own blog, something that her father told her husband; wise advice from a happily married older gentleman: "Women go into marriage hoping that their man will change, men go in hoping their woman won’t." I couldn't have said it better myself.

Just as I said to the husbands, to treat their ladies as queens, so should we treat our husbands as kings. (However, men need to know that this is more like a chess game than a traditional hierachy. The queen rules the board!) :o) And while everything revolves around us (in the most positive of ways, of course!) we must not forget our husbands who do the revolving. Yes, they may not be perfect, and most of them are still in training, but they do love us, and deep down they really have the best of intentions. We must remember this. God, must we remember this! My own husband often has the best of intentions, but horrible execution (in my opinion...which is the one that matters), and I often have the urge to hit him across the head with a thick iron skillet, but, I too must try to remember the root of his intentions.
Not to relate men to dogs at all, (so don't take it like that when I relate this story) but I once had a dog, that, with the best of intentions, wanted to leave me loving gifts on the back porch. This dog was quite affectionate, and gave this gifts with the intentions of making me happy. Big dead rats on the steps (or the occassional dead bird) didn't exactly make me feel all warm and fuzzy. This dog had good intentions, but the execution was poor.
Just as our husbands NEED to listen to us, truly hear us, we in turn need to be open, honest, and clear in our expectations and desires. OK, every now and again we can hint at that bracelet we might want, or that sweater we saw at the store a couple weeks ago, but for the most part, we need to make our desires, goals, feelings, hopes, and thoughts very clear. The male brain operates differently than the female brain. They need clear, concise directions and communication.

Below I am going to touch on some of things I wrote in my previous Handbook post, keeping the ladies in mind. Please refer to that previous post to know what the hell I'm talkin' about.

"You're entitled to your own opinion. (as long as it's the same as mine)"

Their opinion counts two. No, I didn't mis-type, their opinion counts about 2%. But that's at least something, and it counts too. :o) (OK, yeah, that was mean, but it was funny.) :o)
While we (wives) are usually right, as all nearly-perfect creations are expected to be, we aren't 100% correct, all the time. A husband's job is to let us think we are, our job is to know we aren't. I have absolutely no problem admitting that I am only right a percentage of the time. 98.54% to be exact. :o)
In all seriousness, we must remember to take our husband's considerations into account . Or at least, pretend to. Like, when you're decorating the bathroom, and for some unknown reason your husband suggests, with true sincerity, that you purchase towels or accessories that are the exact opposite of the style you've chosen. Take a moment and pretend to think it over, and let him down gently. (And remind yourself to do the shopping for the bathroom by yourself, but allow him to go to the Home Depot and pick out the toilet plunger.) In more serious cases, like when it comes to our feelings, or their interpretations of our feelings, remember their 2%. It is quite possible that you really are angry/sad/hurt/whatever, even if you don't recognize it at the time. I can't really think of any other examples, but remember, 2%. :o)

"She does, you don't."

But he can, and he should.
OK, so our guys can't think about other women, in any way, shape or form. Well, they can't think about any attractive women. :o)
They can't have any (attractive) female friends without our express permission.
They cannot forget important dates! (Yes, I drop contractions when I'm most serious!)

-But, he can and should have a "Guys Night Out", just as we should have and need to have special time with our girls. Women need to congregate with their girlfriends and do girl stuff that only girls can understand. Men need the same. God knows it's hard for us to understand them sometimes, they need to be with their own kind.
-He can and should have his room/area. Even if our guys are smart enough to let us decorate and accessorize the entire house (if that is a lady's desire), at least give them one room. They need their own space, they need something that can be entirely them, something with their signature on it. Apply this as you will, but there must be something in your house, yard, whatever/wherever you reside, that says his name all over it.
-He can and should have "quiet/free days", free of our opinions, demands, and questions. I find the male species quite interesting and intriguing, and I, like a lot of women have a lot of questions. Like, when you see that I obviously have all the silverware arranged in the drawer in a very deliberate manner, why, WHY would you put that spoon there!? Is that spoon going on an adventure in the silverware drawer? Is it a teenage spoon that's rebelling against the other spoons? Grrr!
Or, why would you leave just a sip of milk in the goddamn refrigerator!!!? WHY!!! I have gotten my cookies out on a plate, and arranged them with maximum appeal to fully enjoy my Oreo experience, and the only thing I need to complete this picture is a full glass of milk. A picture of happiness. The glass is on the counter, just asking to be filled. And then there's only an inch of milk that pours forth. WHY!!? For the love of all that is right and holy, WHY!!?
I have a lot of questions, and a lot of complaints. Sometimes they need a day off.

Men still cannot forget important dates, there's no way around that. Get a calender and circle the ones they're most likely to forget. You can help 'em out a little. :o)

Bottom line, treat him as good as he's supposed to (and should be) treating you.
And reward good behavior.
Cut them some slack, they aren't perfect. (How can they be if we are!?)
Remember, it's not give and take. It's give and give.

See, it's more of a pamplet, or leaflet, or post-it note. :o)

I'm tired and I'm going to sleep now. I promise the next post will come sooner than later. I'll try to write tomorrow, there are some things I've been meaning to say. :o)